Duo's awaking
by Riska Azel
Summary: Duo is done with all but one of the pilots now, after what they did to him, he no longer considers them comras, lets alone friends... review!
1. prolouge

Disclaimer- I don't own Gundam wing or any one related to Gundam Wing. If I did own this show I would have a lot more to my name than an 8x3 yrd room and a cool ass computer, yes I do admit my computer is cool. Hehe, now on to the show!! 8D happy face.  
  
Prologue-  
  
The house was quiet, not the normal quiet, but the kid of soundlessness that usually beats at you and seems loud enough to wake the dead. This thunderous silence was a rare thing indeed, especially to the sole occupant of the hose. For most of his life this child was surrounded by noise, it always seemed that quiet was just out of his grasp, so when moments like this happened, he felt compelled to hold onto them for as long as possible. The boy sat there, in that massive house, in some random hallway at some random window still, motionless. The only proof that this boy was alive was the slight rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. He just sat there in the deafening silence he was shrouded in, not willing to be the one who broke it. He knew when it was gone he would morn its loss.  
He was all alone, al the other pilots out on a mission, excluding Quatre, who was visiting one of his many sisters. If any of his fellow Gundam pilots saw this stranger sitting before them, they would be utterly shocked. He preferred this, being alone, where he can think without being bothered or having to worry about the others. The boy, sat there, starring out the window. He looked out at the world around him, while at the same time looked at nothing at all. He wondered what his life was about, why and what they were fighting for. He was also imagining his friends bloody and horrific death deaths. His normally smiling face was cold and emotionless, but his eyes, yes the window to the soul, were filled with tears that were never to be shed. The pain of his past, present and could be future all seemed too much to beer. He promised himself that he would never make friends, real friends, again, that he would never fall in love again, but he has and now he fears for their lives.  
He sat there alone, allowing all these thoughts, feelings and fears to flow through him. Allowing all the pain of his life, short-lived in time only, to caress him. He knew the others would be returning soon, and though he loved it when they were all together and he knew that they were all safe, he wanted to sit in that silence a little longer.  
Just while those thoughts went through his head, the sound of a door opening echoed through the house. He sat up with a small sigh, put that silly ass grin on his face and, literally, ran screaming down the hallway to the door. He stopped at the entrance, seeing who it was.  
"Wu-Wu" he screamed in a shrill voice, "you're back, you're back, you're BACK!" well.... You get the point. Bouncing around Wufei in a circle, looking for any injuries, before enveloping him in a massive bear hug.  
"Maxwell," Wufei stressed, he might not be injured from the mission, but he was tired. "Get off of me right now, and my name is Wufei!" Duo immediately released him, but was still smiling.  
"So.... Wu, how was the mission? Did you succeed?" Duo said in a much mellower voice.  
"Yes, I did, now I would like to retire to my room." He said in a strict voice, his tone leaving no room for argument.  
"Okay, you do that and I'll ..." Duo let his sentence trail off when he realized that Wufei was no longer listening. Wufei turned to Duo, who still had that stupid grin on his face and said, "Good night, Maxwell, go to bed so I can have some peace and quiet." Duo just smiled at him when he left. When he was sure that Wufei was gone for good, he let his face fall from the jester's mask he always wears and once again let his face become emotionless once again. He turned on his heel and walked in the opposite direction that Wufei had taken.  
"Oh well for peace and quiet," Duo sighed, "I wonder what would happen if they saw the real me?" Duo's shoulders slumped at the thought of it. He knew that he couldn't burden the others with his problems, for there was too much going on as it was.  
Duo walked into his room and sat down on the bed. He slowly took his shoes off and laid down on the bed, on top of the covers. He put his arm over his eyes and tried to will himself to sleep, when all he really wanted to do was crawl into a hole and pretend he didn't exist. That was his last though as he let the darkness take him. 


	2. chapter 1

Disclaimer- I don't own Gundam Wing so pretty please with a bunch of cherries on top don't sue me, because if you do sue me the only thing you CAN get from me is 18 dollars and a bunch of text books from school. Thank you, goodbye.  
  
Chapter 1-  
Duo POV  
  
I woke up the next morning when I always woke up, at dawn, before anyone else, except maybe for Wufei, was asleep. Normally, if I was sharing a room I would have to pretend to be asleep till the others woke up, or left the room. But since I didn't have to share a room thanks to the obnoxiously rich Quatre, I could get up. What I normally did when the others were in the house was what I did today. I would go to the window, open it, take a deep breath of the fresh air, than climb out of the window for a long walk. Normally I would return around noon, go back to my room, through the window, when I would do all the things that you would normally do upon waking up, loudly. I knew that Quatre wasn't in yet because he would've heard him. Living on the streets made me a very light sleeper and that's why I didn't like hanging out with Heero or Trowa all to much because they could walk without a sound, making it impossible to hear when they are right behind you. Now don't think I don't trust them with my lives, because I do, it's just that in the past, when people could sneak up behind me bad things usually happened.  
So I left my lovely room and walked around the estate for a while. Now before I meet Quatre I've only been on an estate for two reasons. One was to steal something and the other is a reason that I would rather not go into. Now I tell you this because I want you to understand that no matter how much Quatre tries to make this big ass mansion home-like, I will always try to fade into the shadows because every pore in my body just tells me that I don't belong here. I expect the goddamn police to find me and haul me away just for thinking of coming here, which in the past they would've done.  
I came back to the house; lets just call it that for fuck's sake, and climbed into the window about 11:30. Yes I do know that is a lot of time to do nothing but walk I some random forest by Quatre's house, but you know what, I don't really care what you think, and what else do you expect me to do, sit there with my thumb up my ass till it's time for me to wake up? Not happening.  
Now you may be wondering why I don't just announce my presence to the world when I wake up a dawn. Well it's like this, when the other pilots look at me they expect to see a carefree teenage who cant take anything seriously. I know that they think that I just became a Gundam pilot by some random fluke, but it took a hell of a lot of suffering on my part to get here. I'm getting off track here, so the reason I don't let them know I wake up at that ungodly hour is because what normal, now that term is used rather loosely, teenager wakes up at such an ungodly hour such as dawn. NONE, I can tell you that much, not if they don't have to. To answer the next question on the tip of your tongue, why don't I just sleep in well, that's a little harder t answer, but it mostly boils down to the plain fact that when living on the street, if you slept past dawn, you had a better chance of a) not waking up at all or b) waking up in a very, VERY bad situation. Neither sounds to appetizing, so you learned not to sleep past dawn. Thankfully I didn't have to learn the hard way.  
Now I get back to the room and begin to make an unnecessary amount of noise to get ready. I took longer than needed in the shower, mostly just to piss Wufei off, damn, but if the slightest things didn't set that boy off, it's almost no fun it's so damn easy. Key word there is almost. Anyway I got ready and came down stairs with all the grace and skill of a bull in a china shop.  
"Hullo everyone!" I screeched at the occupants of the kitchen, which included everyone, meaning that Quatre must've come in when I was out for my lovely walk. "So, what's for breakfast guys?" I ask using my I'm-so- goddamn-stupid-that-I-can't-figure-out-that-it's-noon look.  
"It's lunch time Maxwell, you insolent fool." Wufei replied, now if I wasn't already so use to being called numerous name and didn't have such thick skin that might've hurt. But because people have always treated me like shit and I do have such thick skin, it just stung a little. If I said it didn't hurt at all I would be lying, and I never tell a lie, not even to myself. I just shrugged of Wufei's insult and walked over to the kitchen for some grub, being that I'm hungry and I don't know when my next meal is going to be. I got this mentality form... survey says... living on the streets. Hard guess I know. I found two pop tarts, which should be enough for now, and sat down between Heero and Trowa.  
"So when did you three get in?" I asked, my mouth still full with pop tart so crumbs were flying all over the place, looking at Quatre, knowing that he would be the only person who would answer me. Does it get annoying having only one person pay attention to me- yes, do I get use to it and adapt to it- yes. So I don't really see a problem here.  
"Trowa," Quatre looked over a Trowa with this look in his eye that was so love struck that I just a wanted to puke, but of course Trowa was completely oblivious to it, "and Heero got in about two this morning." Damn, I slept through them coming back again, this was really getting on my nerves." And I came in about ten this morning." Quatre signaled that he was finished by taking sip of tea then focusing that sickeningly sweet smile full force on me. When he did that to me, no matter how much I might like the guy, I just have this almost uncontrollable urge just to smash his face in.  
"Yes, Maxwell, and neither Trowa and I slept in as long as you did." Heero said, in his normal monotone voice that somehow seemed to hold annoyance to it. Yes, Heero is a man of many talents, some, unfortunately, less noticed than others.  
"Yeah, well a man needs his beauty sleep, doesn't he?" I ask, and I have no idea the answer to that question. Does a man need beauty sleep, or is it only a girl thing? And why do I even bother asking myself these questions? Damn now I'm confused. Heero just answered my very deep question with his normal, non-comical, 'hn'.  
I sat there for a few minutes before my mouth took off without me. I began to talk about everything and nothing all at the same time. If you asked me what I talked about I wouldn't be able to tell you, no one listens to my insane babbling, not even me. I knew if I ever did listen to the bullshit that seem to sprout from my mouth I would end up gagging, which I believe to be a bad thing.  
Soon I just got bored talking, I know you thought that was impossible, but my man it's true, I do get bored talking. Wow, but stranger things have happened, I just can't think of any right now. Anyway I left the table with a haughty goodbye, and went to visit my baby DeathScythe. I worked on him for a few hours, running schematics and fixing the little kinks that was wrong with him till I decided it was time to go back inside because I was hungry, which, luckily for me was around dinner time.  
I went back into the dinning room and saw all the pilots sitting around the table looking at me with serious faces. Well Quatre's face was serious, which doesn't happen often, and the other guys they just looked normal.  
"Hey guys, what's up?" I ask, actually curious, "what's with all the long faces?"  
"Duo we've been talking and..." Uh-oh, I don't like where this is going, nothing good starts out with the 'we've been talking' thing.  
"Yeah, Quat?" I ask somewhat timidly.  
"Well, we want to, how should I say this-"  
"We want you to change, Maxwell." Wufei finished for him. "This is war and, though you might not take this seriously, and you may not have suffered as we have, we do take it seriously." I blinked at him jus trying to comprehend what just happened when I suddenly smiled at them. This seemed to shock them because they defiantly didn't know what to expect. Well it shocked everyone but Trowa, but then again, Heero is more emotional than Trowa at times.  
"So, what go you guys want to change about me?" I ask, smiling a little wider.  
"Duo, it's not so much changing as-"I cut him off there.  
"Listen, Quat, I know that you and the other have already made a list of grievances, so stop being so goddamn diplomatic and tell me what the fuck you want me to change. I'm not saying that I'm going to change. No, no, no, no, no, no, don't get me wrong. I'm saying that I'll listen to what you have to say." I pause here, just for dramatic effect. "But under only one condition." I say leaving us all a little time to think. 


	3. chapter 2

Disclaimers- I don't own gundam wing, nor do ever hope of owning it. But I do own my wonderful ideas for this story, so have fun reading it....... on w/ the show  
  
Chapter 2-   
  
Duo POV  
  
Damn, their list is more likely than not fifty feet long. I know that Quatre is trying to help, but please, the only thing I really need sugar coated is my cereal. Nothing in my life has ever been easy so why start now? And I haven't felt the pain that they've felt? Can you say Bullshit? I have probably felt more pain and know more suffering than all these assholes put together, so fuck them all.  
  
"Fine, I wont be diplomatic, Duo, but remember what we say is only helpful criticism." Quatre said, and god how I want to hurt him so much right now. Helpful criticism my ass. I stare across the table at them; looking at them with me smile still on my lips thinking of all the ways I wanted to hurt them. I wanted to hurt them as much as they hurt me.... so I will.  
  
"Wait up, I'll get up and walk away if you don't agree to my condition." I said, stopping him before I could find more reasons to hurt him. And people say I have no self control, well it's taking a whole hell of a lot of control not to rip that condescending, mocking tongue out of Quatre's mouth.  
  
"Oh, yes, well what is your condition, Duo?" I hate they way Quatre says my name, like he's eating something that taste nasty, but he doesn't want to be a bad guest and tell his host that they're feeding him dog shit. It just pisses me off. Hold the phone, I can se Quatre fidgeting nervously, oooh I wonder what he thinks I'm going to say?  
  
"I just want to return the favor, I want to give all of you a bit of helpful criticism, too. The way I see it, fair's fair. You don't have to change, because I'm sure as hell not promising anything about me changing, only that I will take all that you guys say into consideration and will most likely do it so we can work together as a team, except, of course, cutting my hair and taking it up the ass." With that last statement Quatre turned an interesting shade of red, Wufei made a shocked noise in the back of his throat, and Heero's eyes widened. Trowa sat there as impassive as ever and I sat there with that stupid ass grin on my face. Trowa was the first person to say anything.  
  
"Understood, I agree." was all he said and with that I have to revise my earlier statement. The one about me suffering more than everyone put together. Trowa just told me, in his own special way, that he too had one hell of a shitty life. Learn something new everyday.  
  
"Cool, now, how 'bout the rest of you guys?"  
  
Quatre, surprisingly, was the first person to recover. "Yes, well, I guess that you are correct, fair is fair, so I agree." I looked at the other two expectantly.  
  
"I concede to the compromise that you have stated." Guess who said this, if you guessed Wu-man, than you are correct!!  
  
Heero, being Heero, just answered with a slight nod of his head.  
  
"So, I ask again, what do you want to have changed about me?" I asked, and thankfully Quatre didn't say anything about helpful criticism. If he had I think that I would've lost it right then and there.  
  
"Well, we all have our grievances, and we never really talked about them amongst each other, so I think it would be best if we took turns, that is if it is okay with you, Duo." Great now they get to take turns burning me, what did I do to deserve such friendship? I just silently shrug my shoulders, knowing that I really don't have any other choice. "Well, I believe that we should do it in order that we've agreed to your conditions, if that's okay with you, Duo?" I cringe slightly at the tone he uses at my name, am I so bad that even the saying my name taste bad? Wait, do I really care? Nope. I just once again shrugged, not really caring what happens. "So, Trowa, why don't you start?"  
  
I turned to look at Trowa, who just in turn looked back at me. I began to wonder what he was going to say that would further my improvement, he the one who has never complained, whined or threatened me to ever change before. I basically knew what everyone else would want different about me, but I hadn't the faintest clue about Trowa, and that made him dangerous.  
  
I soon grew impatient with the whole staring contest that we had going on there, just looking at people could get kinda boring, and I began to wonder how Trowa could do this all the time, granted the people would be moving, not just looking back at you, but all in all, it still has to be kinda boring, and a little bit painful sitting there doing nothing. My impatience soon turned to annoyance. I have better things to do than just sit here and stare at people, granted I don't know what those better things are at the moment, but I'm sure as hell can find something better to so. So I decided to speed things up a little.  
  
"Well," I said, cocking my head to the side, " are you going to help me or not?" I spit the word help out kinda like Quatre says my name, only worse, and saw Quatre flinch. If I wasn't already smiling, I would've been smiling now, as it is, I think my smile just got that much bigger, much to Wife's annoyance. So, I get a kind of perverse pleasure in my friends' discomfort. Sue me, ok? And to think that just last night I was considering these people my close friends. Now I remember why I don't make friends, they always end up leaving me, or fucking me over in the end.  
  
"I have nothing that I would like to change about you, Duo." was all he said. To say I was surprised would be an understatement, but I didn't let any of that show on my face.  
  
"Cool, 'cuz I think that you're a really cool dude you're self. Except for one thing." A this he looked at me exponentially, as did everyone else. "Could you please, now I'm asking you this, but I don't think that you're going to do it, could you please make some goddamn noise when you walk? It fucking freaks me out when you just appear out of nowhere."  
  
At this, Trowa just shook his head and said a simple 'no'. My own answer was just as simple, "Understood." but I left out the threat that I would do the same to him. Seeing Trowa understand what I didn't say while it flew over everyone else's heads, once again, gave me a perverse since of pleasure, so I'm weird, what else is new?   
  
Next was Quatre, I turned to the sweet innocent face of his, and began to wonder what he was going to say. Now I have a general idea for what everyone is gong to say, but Quatre I'm more in the dark with than I am with Wufei, mostly because he lets his grievances well known through out the days.  
  
"Well, I guess it's my turn," my smile got, bigger, if that is at all possible, as I nodded my head vigorously like a five year old on speed. "First off, I would like it if you would act more mature." I nod my head again, but this time only once and slowly. "I would like it if you would help out more around the house with the chores and all. Um... oh, yes, I wish that you would wake up earlier, and stop playing your music so loud and being so loud your self. Some of us do like to enjoy peace and quiet around the house and that seems to be an almost impossibility with you around. Okay, Duo?"  
  
By this time I was smiling so much that it was beginning to hurt my face.  
  
"Are you done, Winner?" I made a point of saying his last name in a formal way. He nods slowly, suddenly unsure of himself, good. "Great, I guess I can do what I want you to do," I say nonchantly, " but just because I can do t, my dear boy, doesn't mean that I will." insert evil laughter here, and people think I'm insane. Well, they're right, but that is a completely different subject. "But there are some things that I would like to help you with, Winner. I want you to stop saying that you understand me, news flash, you don't. I want you to stop intervening with my fights with Wufei and/or Heero. By doing this we have to bottle up all of our frustrations and it leads to all of us being put under ore pressure than what we are already under. We need to get all of our problems out before we end up killing one another. I don't want you to play that damn violin anymore, I hate classical music and I hate orchestra string instruments, excluding the harp, but that it for a reason I won't go into now. I don't want to drink your tea all the time, I find it disgusting and I want some nice, caffeinated, black coffee. I also don't want your moral lessons or opinions. I cause myself enough grief, I truly don't need it from you, too." By this time all the color had drained from Quatre's face, and that sweet diplomatic expression was replace by something akin to horrified disbelief.  
  
"D...Do...Do you really feel that way?" He asked in a quiet, hurt voice. Why is he so pained, I'm just being helpful.  
  
" I don't lie Winner, and just remember, you don't need to do this, and it's just constructive criticism." I smile a special smile at him. God that was fun, but now I have to deal with Wufei. Oh, joy. 


	4. chapter 3

Disclaimer- I do not own Gundam Wing, nor do I own the characters that I have inevitable turned in to assholes.  
  
Duo's awakening- Chapter 3  
  
Wufei cleared his throat and I just looked at him.  
  
"Well.... Anytime now Wu-man" I knew the nickname would get him started on his rant. God I love how predictable he is at times.  
  
"Maxwell! I would like you to cease calling me those infuriating names!" I only smile and nod. "Also I would like for you to quite all that smiling, we are in the middle of a war, there is nothing to be that happy about." There he is asking for me to lose my mask, but I agreed anyway, the face splitting smile falling away from my face leaving it emotionless. Everyone stared at me in shock, excluding Trowa, who just looked at me knowingly. Wufei opened and closed his mouth a few times, but I soon began to get annoyed with his staling, even if it wasn't intentional.  
  
"Please, Chang, can you hurry up, I do have things I have to do." Once again I use the last name, maybe they'll catch on, but I doubt it.  
  
"Um... I wish you wouldn't speak so crudely, only street rats speak with the kind of language that you do and we all know a Gundam Pilot cannot be from the streets." Now here Wufei is asking me to give up my past. I don't truly think I could do that. I gave Trowa a pointed look, who returned it with a slight shrug. How little he knew. " I believe that Winner spoke of the noise level so those are my grievances." I looked at him for a while, fighting the urge to smile condescending at him.  
  
"I concede to this agreement, Chang." I said with an emotionless voice. "Now let me express my grievances of you. I would approach it if you didn't speak of everything like you know everything about it. There are some matters of life in which you are ignorant in. I do believe that you could ease up on your sexist ideas and views. I know plenty of women who are strong in both body and mind. I have no wish to hear about your excessive justice rants. I don't believe justice exists and if it has ever existed it is as dead to me as my parents. And now I would greatly approach it if you would open your eyes a little more and see that the world doesn't exist in only black and white. There are many shades of grey, Chang. And I would be it if you opened your eyes to this, because if you don't you will forever remain the ignorant fool that you are today."  
  
Wufei just stared at me at me in complete shock. I didn't think any had ever told him that justice doesn't exist. Poor Wufei- did I just shatter your little, self deluded world? To fucking bad. If I was allowed to I would've smiled, just so I could piss him off. As it is it took a lot of restraint not to.  
  
"So Heero, what do you wish to critic about my habitual living routine?" I ask in a monotone that could've rivaled Heero's.  
  
"I only have one thing I want you to change Duo that the others haven't covered." Wow, this is turning out to me a completely emotionless conversation, or at least voice wise. I gestured for him to continue. " I want you to be less emotionless than you already are and I want you to attract less attention to your self." I raise an eyebrow at this, wasn't, the emotionless part, what Wufei basically asked from me? Hmmm.  
  
"Understood," I stated in perfect monotone, " what I wish for you is to become more emotionally inclined."  
  
"Well, I believe that I have more schematics to run on my Gundam, so with all of your permission I would like to bid you ado." I said, and without even waiting around for their answer I turned away and walked slowly out of the room, I may have to speak more politely, but that sure as hell didn't mean I had to behave politely. I could do what they wanted of me, it makes little to no difference, and all I'll be doing is replacing one mask for another. If they want another Heero, they'll get another Heero, what do I care?  
  
I finished with my Gundam and came back to the house without a sound. I don't announce my arrival as I normally would; I just quietly just walk in to the house.  
  
"You know that they don't believe that you can do it." A voice from behind me said, and I was able to catch the slight jump of surprise before it ever happened. "I heard them all talking about it, and about your demands. They we're all shocked, to say the least, about your demands of them."  
  
"I wanted to hurt them Tro, so I did, it's as simple as that." I said, turning around to face him. " How about you Tro? Do you think that I can do it?"  
  
"Yes, because all this will be to you is another mask."  
  
"But this time it'll be less like the jester's and more like yours."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"G'night Tro, been a blast talkin' ta ya." I said, for the last time, in a while, going back to the slang and manner of speech that I used when I was on the streets.  
  
"Same here." With that Trowa left me alone with my thoughts. Since I'm alone, let's recap what I can and cannot do, shall we?  
  
I can't sleep late- not that I actually do so it's not that big of a deal  
  
I can't act immature- oh well, what can I do? I just want to make everyone happy, great now I sound like a deranged Miss America.  
  
I can't be loud or play my music loud- not being loud I can do, but come on, there is no other way to listen to rock except when it's loud.  
  
I can't call Wufei nicknames- that doesn't bother me so much because I'll be calling him Change from now on anyway.  
  
I can't smile or be happy- who in all of the seven hells ever said that I was fucking happy? I'm one of the most depressed people I know.  
  
I can't use my normal speaking habits- now this might hurt because this is a connect to my past just like my braid. What they're asking here is for me to give up my past and say I'm rich, or have money like them.  
  
I can't be emotional- I'm not that emotional, or at least not when it counts, if G asked me to kill a five year old for the colonies I would, I'd feel like shit about it later and never forgive myself, but I'd still do it.  
  
Long list, eh? Well, let's see what I can do?  
  
I can ..... Help with the chores- dun, dun, duun! Yippie, I've died and gone to heaven. I am being sarcastic, just so you know.  
  
Jeeze, I since an unfairness about this, but whatever. As Trowa said, it's just another mask. I'm still hidden. Now don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that it'll be easy, it won't, but I do think that it is possible. After a while, though, a mask becomes a part of you, and it's kinda hard just to up and change it.  
  
I soon relies that I'm standing her staring in space. Oops, well, lucky no one happened upon me. That would've been amusing. Anyway I began walking soundlessly to my room. When I got there I realized that I had nothing to do, so I sat there on my bed, mimicking what I had done last night. When I had thought that I had friends instead of a friend, and I'm not ever sure that I should consider Trowa a friend, or just someone who understands me. I wonder this time about the other's opinion about me, if they found out that I was just a street rat? Do they think they know shit about me? What do they really think they know about my past? With these questions bombarding my mind, I went to sleep. 


End file.
